A Closeted Goth Girl Trying to Make it in the Professional World

Saturday, August 13, 2011

A Tale of Goth Awkwardness and A Look with Metallique and Nyx Jumbo Pencils

Gather around the fire my friends, and I shall tell you a tale of great awkwardness. Once upon a time, many (aka: a few) years ago, there was a wonderful, fantastic club in the city in which I now live. We shall call said place Club X. Every time I travelled to this city for concerts and shopping, I would be sure to attend their goth nights which were held SACRELIGIOUSLY EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT! They also held concerts there of the punk, metal, rockabilly, and industrial types and they even had an upstairs lounge in which persons who enjoy dressing up in vintage and rockabilly themed outfits could listen to their music. The owners were fabulously nice; when we wanted to see VNV Nation in concert a few years ago, we were unable to get tickets as we lived in another province but we phoned the owners and they held some for us. There was a thriving goth scene to participate in with the heart of it being this club night; many "prominent", if you will, goths who are always present in the scene would always attend this night (and attend it looking fabulous, I might add!) I even saw many of these fabulous people when I travelled to Montreal for Festival Kinetik, the best goth festival in the world (I was told by some European people I met there that it was WAY better than M'era Luna in Germany, a festival which I DREAM of attending. GO CANADA GOTH SCENE!) Alas, I am off on a tangent. AHEM!

Anyway, right before I was about to move to this lovely city for my horrible new job, I saw an article on the website stating that the club was getting closed down!!!  NO!!! It could not be! Apparently they got bought out or something. I was heartbroken. However, Club X relocated and continued on as usual, or so I thought, as I attended the regular Saturday night goth-a-thon after going to the Rammstein concert when I was finding a place to live for when I moved. I did notice, however, that the DJ's were different.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago (or I guess it should be rewind backward at this point, whatever).....I had been very busy with moving and arranging crap with my job and getting furniture from Ikea such that I would not have to sit on the floor. I had not had time to attend my Saturday night goth industrial dance party as I had been longing to, but finally, I was going to go (despite the fact that I had to work the next day, I had a bit of a "special" Sunday that day). I got all goth-ified and we set out for the new location of Club X.

Upon arriving, I walked through the doors and it was dark and my eyes needed a moment to adjust. Something seemed....not quite right. I went to the bar to get a drink, sipped upon it, and turned around.  What was that smell? Was it......patchouli?? What are these ladies wearing? Feather hair extensions? No makeup? Flat shoes? Huge, unwieldly glasses? What are these sounds that I am hearing......*my ears began to bleed*.....is that....no, it couldn't be.......INDIE MUSIC!!!!???? I began to panic a bit......where was the bass? THE SYNTH??? I COULD NOT DANCE TO THIS!!! DOES NOT COMPUTE!!! I turned to face the band that was playing on stage. They looked like they had fallen out of an American Apparel ad. I saw many eyes upon me. It was then that I realized.......it was NOT goth industrial dance music night, it was an INDIE CONCERT!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

All I have to say is AWK-WARD!!! Needless to say, I was not exactly DRESSED FOR THE OCCASION! I looked just a LITTLE BIT out of place! The girl working the door felt my awkwardness and was nice enough to refund my cover and point me towards another bar that the goth people have migrated to for Saturday nights. It is a new wave night where they play some industrial, some indie, some rockabilly, some 80's and other sweet stuff. It was quite a refreshing mix and the goth people and the indie people danced together in harmony, the smell of clove smokes intertwined with the sent of patchouli, and I was pleased. I saw the DJ's that I remembered and apparently Club X pissed off a lot of goth people by starting to only do Saturday goth nights if they didn't have a band playing, which is like, never. They also got rid of the DJ's unfortunately. Some nice goth ladies in the bathroom told me about the NEW goth night at another club that I used to go to concerts at. As we touched up our makeup, she told me it was the same DJ's as the new wave night but it is on Friday and they play ALL industrial! YES! The awkward story has a happy ending for everyone!

Uh, that was a bit long. On to the makeup!

FACE: MAC Prep and Prime, MAC Studio Fix Fluid in NC15, MAC Select Sheer Pressed Powder in NC15.

BROWS: Bonne Bell Eye Definer in Black.

CHEEKS: Sobe Botanicals Lip and Cheek Colour in Metallique. I was sweating before I used this as it was my first time trying it on my cheeks and I didn't want to ruin my goth look! I think it looked pretty neat. It was a bit tricky to blend over my powder, though. I also sprinkled some fallout from Urban Decay's Uzi eyeshadow on my cheeks for some sparkle.

LIPS: Sobe Botanicals Lip andCheek Colour in Metallique and MAC Lipmix in Back.

CLEAVAGE: Sparkly glittery gel stuff that comes from a pretty compact from a Lise Watier holiday collection from several years ago.

EYES: Primer: UDPP
Base: MAC Paint Pot in Soft Ochre.
Coloured Bases: NYX Jumbo Pencil in Milk under the browbone and on the inner eye towards the bridge of the nose. NYX Jumbo Pencil in Black Bean on the lid and crease. 
Inner Lid: Tinsel from the Sleek Sparkle Palette.
Middle Lid: Star Light from the Sleek Sparkle Palette.
Outer V: Glitz and Glamour blended in to Noir; both from the Sleek Sparkle Palette.
Browbone: Tinsel from the Sleek Sparkle Palette.
Inner Corner: Arissa eyeliner pencil in Platinum.
Lower Lashline: Too Faced Unicorn Tears. I extended the line out with a silver glitter from the NYX glitter cream palette called One Night in Luxy.
Waterline: UD 24/7 Glide-On Pencil in Perversion.
Upper Lashline: Maybelline Black Liquid Eyeliner with Lise Watier Glitter Eyeliner in Black Diamond over top.
Upper and lower lashes: Maybelline The Falsies Flared Mascara.
Fake Lashes: Elise brand. I hate these with a passion. They are SO uncomfortable and the band is huge and they are heavy and I suffer when I wear them. I do love to suffer for fashion, but I am already suffering enough from the boots, waist cincher, and dreads so these falsies just about push me over the edge of my discomfort tolerance.

I was SUPER nervous about using the NYX Jumbo Pencils. I had never used them before and I don't like to try things out when I'm not sure how they work because when you've got a LOT going on already, you just can't have creasing. I like to look like a hot mess and all, but when I do my goth stuff I try to be a little bit more particular. Unfortunately, due to my work schedule, sometimes the only time I can try out new stuff that isn't work safe is goth club time. I am happy to report that they have passed my Goth Club Test. After messing around with these further, I think the trick is to not put on too much as a thick layer creases quite easily. Why did I not get Black Bean earilier? Nothing goths up any eyeshadow colour like a black base!


The Sleek Sparkle Palette
Top row from left to right: Cranberry, Dream Maker, Galactic, Twinkle, Star Light, Noir
Bottom row from left to right: Illusion, Festive, Mistletoe, Glitz and Glamour, Gold Ribbon, and Tinsel.


Oh lashes, I abhor thee.


Do my eyes look half closed? Well, they are! I was tired, and I HATE these false lashes. They are HEAVY, and they have the thickest, most awful band ever. They NEVER stick near my inner lid no matter what I do. You can see them coming loose ALREADY in the above eye shots.


Dreads: By me.
Headband: Le Chateau.
Dress: Plastik Wrap.
Waist Cincher: Deadly Fetish Designs from Deadly Couture in Vancouver.
Lace Cuff: My friend made it for me.
Spiky Cuff: Walmart.
Stockings: Good question...where did I get these?
Boots: Demonia.
Purse: My good friend Mr. Bodybag from Demonia.

Just a final note: The point of this post is NOT to make fun of the styles and musical tastes of others, I over-exaggerated stuff to make it funny. The indie ladies looked and smelled lovely and I can appreciate anyone's style when they put a look together, regardless of the theme. Also, people in this city don't really care how you dress, I can walk down the main party street looking like this and no one bats an eyelash, everyone already knows about the goth people. No one would have cared or been rude to me if I went to an indie concert like this, I just felt awkward because I was expecting a goth night. As I said, I dance in harmony with the indie people on Saturday nights and I'm putting in a nice little feather hair extension tomorrow ;)


  1. I totally love this head to toe. I'd probably look more like one of the indie kids (well, not quite like that either) but one of the ones in the harmonious club I promise. Also, yay for feather extension! I put my new one in a couple of days ago (and have put my hair back in a ponytail the last 2 days, so that does little good, lol)

  2. I love your lips in this look - so very cool! It's a shame the falsies are so awful - they look fantastic!!!

  3. I love the makeup look! Really beautiful!

    LMAO @ being at an indie concert instead of Goth Industrial. Sorry that happened to you. xP

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.


    LMAO I totally enjoyed this post!! Why? Because I can relate! My usual club from back in the day was slowly taken over by the Indies. Even though they were on my territory they made me feel awkward cause they made it seem as if it was theirs. Grrrrrr! Anyways, you, my dear, look BEYOND hot. Like, a whole 'nother level of hot! I LOVE LOVE your eye makeup!

  6. Well I'm glad the story had a happy ending, but that sucks showing up and they weren't doing the goth night anymore! LOVE you makeup and outfit! Your falsies are so fun!

  7. OH BURN. At least it all had a happy ending. Screw that club! Bah!!

    In other news, purty!

  8. lol at least you looked pretty sweet! My favourite place got shut down back home sometime in the last couple of years. It was like the only place that didn't play top 40 junk or country (It's Calgary AKA Cowtown so like 50% bars ARE country:/ ) and yeah, place closed down, I had a sad. I even had one of their "Warehouse membership" cards you can sign up for every year. Not sure the reason for the card, I think you still paid cover, but I got to feel MIGHTEH IMPORANTE! Then I moved here and turned into a hermit. And that's the end of my rambles :)

  9. and you looked so bloody amazing! sorry that you happened upon the wrong crowd for it, that can be soooo embarrassing, lol! like showing up in an evening gown to an event where everyone else is in jeans and sneakers...aaaawwwwkward. glad that you found the new hangout though :D

    Vonnie of Socialitedreams.com

  10. Hot mama! But man, that was TOTALLY awkward! Sorry that had to happen to you. But at least you had fun, right?

  11. You look awesome, as usual!!! And that body-bag purse is awesome! And I'm sorry to laugh at your awkward moment, but that is a *little* bit funny ;)

  12. I love love plastik wrap, and you look so awesome in it. What a funny story you poor little thing.
    I really love this extreme look :)

  13. LOL best story ever. I can sympathise though, I used to go to this live music venue every other week when I was 16-17, as they had fairly big bands playing (not huuuuge bands that could fill out stadiums, but like Dragonforce and shit) and it got closed down and turned into an RnB club :| LOL

    OMG I love the lashes, the shape you did with the eye makeup, the lips, and your entire damn outfit.

  14. I am literally the most awkward person in the world, I know how you feel. I can never ever seem to dress to fit the crowd but it's just something that I've come to accept as my eccentricities. You look bad ass though either way!

  15. Love the lips and those lashes are badass! Sorry for your awkward experience! If it makes you feel better, I traipsed up and down the Las Vegas strip all weekend behind cookie-cutter tramps feeling like the most awkward person alive... I think everyone has been in that situation at some point in time! Be comforted by the fact that you looked absolutely wonderful!

    Am I the only one who doesn't get why ugly suddenly equals hip? Like, those stretchy horizontal headbands... What?

  16. woooaaah mama!!! You are super HOT!!! You remind me of one of those intergalactic superheroes--ready to save the world with your superpowers!!!

  17. Your eyelashes... Your style... You are amazing. I hope you know that. :) I love looking at the photos of you all gothed up. :D